If You Speak Their Name, They Will Come

The cockroaches must have read the blog.  Hours after posting it, I was woken up at 2:30 a.m. by a COCKROACH WALKING ACROSS MY FACE AS I SLEPT!!!!!!!!!!  Needless to say, I was a bit startled, horrified, and sick.   After filling my room with a cloud of poisonous roach gas it took some time to get back to sleep .  I kept thinking that I could hear something crawling around.  Today I can still feel where that f'n thing was on my face.  Unbelieavble.

Gecko Poo and Cockroaches

I have moved into my new house.  It's nice to have that much space to myself.  It is lifted off of the ground to keep out the snakes, however, it does not help with geckos or cockroaches.  I don't mind the geckos as much because they eat the mosquitos.  But they are everywhere.  And with massive amounts of geckos, comes massive amounts of gecko poo.  It's like having a pet that roams around your house and craps wherever it feels like it.  I need to get on finding a house keeper.  There is gecko poo on the walls of the bathroom and my room.  *A bird just flew into the library window!  Just now as I write this.*  There is no way to keep the geckos out either.  The windows are just diagnol pieces of wood, so there is not a way to close them.

I do mind the cockroaches much more than the geckos.  My first night I moved some sandals that the previous tenant had left in the bathroom.  Two 4 inch cockroaches went flying across the room.  It startled me at first.  I have seen cockroaches before, but never this big.  After I regained my composure, I was able to kill one, but the other is still looming.  Then last night as I grabbed the knob on the sink I grabbed another big one.  This time it did not phase me.  I don't know how I feel about how quickly I have gotten used to monster cockroaches.

Up To Monkey Business

I saw wild monkeys today sitting on cars and running up and down the pillars of my hotel.  It was a great weekend at the beach.  I stayed at the Hyatt in Kuantan.  Pretty dope.  Driving here is still crazy.  I'm not quite sure how I will get used to it.  I move into my house this weekend.  It is going to be so much better.  Gotta run, 6:30am comes real quick and I go to an all school assembly every Monday morning at my base school.
Peace and Love.

I Will Lose This Game of Chiken

Within 2 weeks I have managed to completely annihilate my car.  I guess I shouldn’t take all of the credit; I must thank the gentleman in the logging truck that was half in my lane forcing me to swerve onto the “shoulder.”  When I say “shoulder”, I mean grass.  It was the worst time possible and forced me to run into a 3 ft. ditch.  It was either that or a head on collision.  The jungle roads are half the size they should be; especially with monster trucks barreling down on me.  There is a hierarchy here which is, the biggest car has the right away.  Even if it forces you to veer off of the “road.”   Logging trucks, tourist buses, other trucks, me, smaller/older cars/, cows, and crazy mofos on scooters.  I am worried that I am going to take out one of these scooter madmen.  If all of a sudden I am back from Malaysia with no explanation… I’m just saying… let me live…er… hide… in your basement or attic.  I don’t mind the spiders.

Don’t get me wrong.  I have taken full advantage of these loose driving laws.  Still, one can drive fast and safe. 

Other than that, the day to day is going great.  I am still in that period where everything continues to get better.  I still have a few months of finding new restaurants and other places that can make my life easier.  I had all of my dress shirts washed and ironed for 3 dollars!  3 Dollars!  If you offered a homeless man with a sign that read “Will Work 4 Fude”   three dollars in the States to iron you clothes, he would take it and then wear your drawers on his head like he was some G’D superhero.   Three dollars isn’t going far in the states anymore, unless you want fast food or a birthday party at Wunderland.

I will be moving into my house in ten days.   After that I will not be driving nearly as much.  Pretty stoked about that.  Peace and Love.

Just The Beginning

Where to start?  Where to begin?  I never thought I would ever be “blogging,” but after Amy provided the idea and why it could be beneficial, I adhered to her advice.  Please note that these are the ramblings of one without a filter.  There will be curse words, grammar mistakes, run-on sentences and at times, a possible politically incorrect statement/ idea.  I don’t believe in curbing the truth (or at least my interpretation of what the truth is.)  I will use spell check, so hopefully I can maintain coherency to know the difference between to, too, and two.  If two of you decide to blog too, please let me know... swish.

Apparently I’m an IT genius.  Eat it nerds!  I know how to find wireless connections and plug in projectors for PowerPoint presentations!  Once our orientation commenced it was me, and these 4 other mid 40- 50s ladies during our in country briefing.  Jesus Christ, you would have thought I was Steve Jobs himself.  Please don’t get me wrong, all of them are lovely human beings that have a plethora of knowledge that I am still striving to obtain.  Each one of these women bring a vast knowledge of their experiences working throughout the world… but they can’t connect to wireless internet.  I guess my generation should feel lucky that we were on the cusp of (what I feel is the never ending third industrial revolution) technology and the internet.  It is the same reason that John Mc Cain could never be President.  The man had never used “google!”  Um yeah, sounds like a person who is in touch with the people.  But it is not his fault, and it is not the fault of the women I “trained” with.  The internet introduced itself to a teenage me, with its dialing dance and its boop boop boop boop boop.  I believe that my generation is the last one that can remember a life without internet.  Maybe that is part of the reason I will stat this blog.  I can’t let these young whipper snappers get a leg up.  I transgress.  Bottom line, if I know the most about technology among my co-workers… I think we might all be in trouble.  And when I say “we,” I mean some of them. 

I am now living in a town named Bentong.  Don’t bother looking it up, all you will see is a toothless guy sporting a white shirt.  However, I like Malaysia so far.  Other than the disorganization that I expect from any government program, all has been well.  I have a feeling that once November and December roll around, I will be appreciating it even more in the 80 degree weather.  Driving here has been interesting.  I am living in a junglesque place so it has been beautiful.  It is hard to acknowledge while you are driving because there aren’t any real traffic laws, so I keep my eyes on the road.  I saw four of the schools that I will be attending to.  Absolutely beautiful locations.  The children that were still around seemed very enthusiastic about my presence.

At the moment I am staying in a hotel.  Regardless of the multiple lizards in the shower, it has been quite pleasant.  It has AC and internet, the backbone of any tropic getaway.  Starting tomorrow morning I will be looking for a place near the schools that I am working with.  I don’t know how long I can keep a blog up, but I will do the best I can. 

Drive it like you stole it.

BML